


sakuatsu: what do I call you

by kokocrush



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29511249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kokocrush/pseuds/kokocrush
Summary: A series of SakuAtsu drabbles. Title inspired by Taeyeon's What Do I Call You.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 4





	sakuatsu: what do I call you

Atsumu and Sakusa, by all means, do not fit. They should not get along, they are not friends. They do not have much in common, and they barely talk. Atsumu knows all this and yet, how is he caught up in a situation with his hands intertwined with said boy?

It all began one day when Atsumu, the very one with flashy gestures and flailing arms, ever so gentlemanly, decides to step aside to let his teammate get through the door before him. Sakusa was cranky, has a temper, and Atsumu was a teeny bit scared of how unpredictable he was especially with all the germaphobe business he was on.  
Atsumu halted in his tracks, stretched out his left arm in hopes his teammate would get the message and pass through the door. 

What he did not expect was for his hands to be captured and held as he was dragged out of the door together with said teammate. 

What the fuck, Atsumu thought. What the fuck, he looked down to their intertwined hands. Sakusa hasn't let his hands go, and he is pretty sure it has been a good two minutes or so. Atsumu looked up to his teammate's face, then back down to their hands before he turned straight ahead. Atsumu stood still until he caught side of Hinata, taking his left hand away from Sakusa's grasp, hoping it is enough of an excuse to leave him behind, even though there was nothing to feel guilty about... right?  
.  
.

The second time it happened, Atsumu swore they were just comparing palm sizes. The volleyball magazine did a special revealing stats of the MSBY team and there was no way Sakusa had bigger hands.

"Omi, let's compare hand sizes!"  
Sakusa surprisingly indulges him in it, despite how childish it was. And as soon as their palms met, he curled his fingers onto the spaces between Atsumu's own.  
Atsumu's eyes bulged and as he tore his gaze away from their interlocked fingers, he recognised the soft gaze on his teammate's face.

.  
.  
.  
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It was one of those sleepless nights where you looked for someone to talk to and when you do, you talked about the most random topics. But when Sakusa shyly confessed that he loved Atsumu's voice, even gushed over it like an idiot through text, when all his life he was told that he was too loud, how was it possible for Atsumu to not have fallen in love?

.  
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And then it was the pet names.  
Sakusa called him babe once in the locker room and everyone loses their shit.  
.  
.  
Until one day he stops. He stops looking. He stops talking. He never tries.  
.  
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.  
"You know, everyone is a little gay Omi-kun. That's just how it is." 

It was supposed to be simply lighthearted banter.

"I can't be. I can't be that."

.  
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Touches become fleeting.  
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When Atsumu pulls, Sakusa pushes him away.  
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When Sakusa seeks for him, Atsumu still hasn't stopped sulking from before.  
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"You know... I really think everything was just in my head." Atsumu bitterly admits, feeling sick of his heart weighing too heavy.

"What?" His twin replies incredulously.

Atsumu ignored his twin's dramatics and continued. "I mean.. I probably liked him from even before that, and just... looked way too much into it that I began forming ideas in my head... delusional ones."

"That's fucking embarrassing." Osamu said after a long pause.

"I know Samu..."

"You think he just got scared?"

You don't say, the blonde wanted to shout out. But instead, he decides to settle on feeling blue over seeing red. "Running away... doesn't that mean that I'm not worth fighting for?"

Osamu sighs. "Look, of course you are. You've been pining away for what? 2 years now? It is time to get over it because it is clearly not going anywhere, just like you said."  
.  
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..  
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"I'm gonna confess to him before I leave. I'm taking up the offer to States and before I go in May, I'm telling him."  
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Sakusa sets off to Poland on April and joins Ushijima's team. Atsumu cancels his plans to the States, not feeling up for it and needing his twin with him more than ever.  
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They meet again months later as Sakusa visits home. This time, when their eyes meet, they both look away.

**Author's Note:**

> More drabbles coming soon...


End file.
